Price, 25 Cents 



Christmas Spealdn' 
Skaggs's Skule 



MARIE IRISH 



PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY 

DAYTON, OHIO 



MUSICAL ENTERTAINMENTS 

These emigs can be nsed In all manner of entertainments. The 
mQisic is e^sy and both mnsic and words are especially catchy. CUDdren 
like them. Everybody likes tbem* Sheet mnEAc. Price, SS cent» each. 

HERE'S TO THE LAND OF THE STARS AND THE STRIFES. 

(Bugbee-Worrell.) A patriotic song w.hich every child should know and' 
love. The sentiment is elevating. The music is martial and inspiring. 
May be effectively sung by the entire school. Suitable for any occasion 
and may be sung by children or grown-ups. Be the first to use this 
song in your community. 

I'Lt NEVER PLAY WITH TOU AGAIN. (Guptill -Weaver.) A 
quarrel between a small boy and girl. The words are defiant and pert. , 
The boy and his dog have been in mischief, and the small maiden pout- 
ingly declares that she will never play with him again, but changes her 
mind in the last verse. A taking little duet for any occasion, with full 
directions for motions. 

JOLLY FARMER LADS AND LASSIES. (Irlsh-Lyman.) A de- 
cidedly humorous a/ctlon song prepared especially for district schools. 
It will make a hit wherever produced. 

JOLLY PICKANINNIES. (Worrell.) Introduce this coon song 
into your next entertainment. If you use the directions for the mo- 
tions which accompany the music, the pickaninnies will bring down the 
house. Their black faces and shining eyea will guarantee a "hit," The 
words are great and the music just right, 

LULLABY LANE. (Worrell.) This song is one which the chil- 
dren, once having learned, will never forget. The words have the charm 
of the verses written by Robert Louis Stevenson. The music is equally 
sweet and is perfectly suited to the beautiful words. It may be sung 
as a solo by a little girl with a chorus of other little girls with dolls, or 
as a closing song by the whole school. 

MY OWN AMERICA, I LOVE BUT THEE. (Worrell.) Here 
is a song that will, arouse patriotism in the heart of every one who 
hears it. The music is so catchy that the children and grown-ups, too, 
just can't resist it. It makes a capital marching song. 

NOW, AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU CAME? (Guptill -Weaver.) 
This is a closing song which is quite out of the ordinary. There is 
humor in every line. The music is lively. Your audience will not 
soon forget this spicy song for it will get many an unexpected laugh. 
The motions which accompany this song make it doubly effective. For 
any occasion and for any number of children. 

WE ARE CREEPY LITTLE SCARECROWS. (Guptill-Weaver.) 
A weird, fascinating action song. You can't go wrong with this song. 
There are four verses and chorus. Complete directions accompany this 
song so that it may be featured as a song and drill, if desired. For any 
occasion and for any number of children. 

WE'VE JUST ARRIVED FROM BASHFUL TOWN. (Worrell.) 
"^his song will bring memories to the listeners of their own bashful 
school days. They will recall just how "scared" they were when asked 
to sing or play or speak. The words are unusually clever. The music 
is decidedly melodious. It naakes a capital welcome song or it may be 
sung at any time on any program with assured success. 

WE HOPE YOU'VE BROUGHT YOUR SMILES ALONG. (Wor- 
rell.) A welcome song that will at once put the audience in a joyous 
frame of mind and create a happy impression that will mean half the 
success of your entire program. Words, bright and inspiring. Music, 
catchy. A sure hit for your entertainment. 

WE'LL NOW HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE. (Worrell.) This 
beautiful song has snap and go that will appeal alike to visitors and 
singers. It is just the song to send your audience home with happy 
memories of the occasion. 

Paine Publislutig Company Dasrton, Ohio 



• -? 



Christmas Speakin 
at Skaggs's Skule 



By 

MARIE IRISH 



PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY 

DAYTON, OHIO 



\ 



^^^!<u'i^'^ 



Visitors. 



CHARACTERS 
Miss Emmeline Elkins — Teacher. 
JosiAii JuDD — Clerk of Skule Board 

Mrs. Skaggs 
Mrs. Hil-l 

Billy Skaggs — Very Bashful. 

Ole Swan son — A Swede. 

Florildy 
Matildy 

Rastus — A Negro Boy. 

Sam Shaw — Who Stutters. 

Virgil Va^e — Very Studious. 

Tiny Tilly — Small for Age. 

CoRABELL — Her Fat Sister. 

Sarah Jane — Who's Not Scared. 

Time of Playing — Thirty Minutes 
Scene, An Old-time District School room 



^^; 



The Twins. 



TMP9C-006495 



Copyright, 


1921, by Paine Publishing Company 

2 




DEC 16 1921 






©CI.D 5 9. '5 8 6 






*wc 


1 



COSTUMES 

Miss Elkins, Old-maid costume, much fussed up with 
bright colors; spectacles, hair in corkscrew curls each side 
of face. 

JosiAH JuDD, Chin whiskers, colored shirt, bright tie, suit 
that is too large, boots, large red bandanna handkerchief. 

Mrs. Skaggs and Mrs. Hill, Hair done up old style, old- 
fashioned wool dresses, small old-time bonnets that tie under 
chin, shawls. 

Billy Skaggs, good-sized boy with clothes too small 
waist with large ruffled collar, bright bow tie, short trousers, 
bright stockings. 

Ole Swanson, colored shirt, overalls, colored handker- 
chief tied around neck. 

Matildy and Elqrildy, Old-fashioned wool dresses, 
much too long, hair flowing, ribbon tied around head with 
bow at the top. 

Rastus, Bright calico waist, trousers that do not fit, 
patched with bright color, face blackened. 

Virgil Vane, hair parted in middle, spectacles, coat much 
too small, long trousers, stand-up collar. 

Sam Shaw, Short trousers, a coat much too large and 
long. 

Tilly, A small slender giri with rather long, tight-fittino 
dress, hair hanging in two braids. 



CoRABELL, Good-sized girl, well padded to be fat, very 
short skirt, hair with big bow at each side of face. 

Sarah Jane, Rather small size, dressed much too old 
for age, hair crimped, old-style gown. 

Stage arrangement — Pupils sit on benches along back 
of stage ; small table for teacher at one side with books, bell 
and long ruler. Stand with water pail and dipper, dinner 
pails hanging on wall, also children's wraps; some decora- 
tions of evergreen and Merry Christmas pinned on wall in 
leters of various sizes and colors. Visitors sit iil chairs at 
sides of room. 



Christmas Speakin' at Skaggs's Skule 



Teacher (tapping bell loudly) — Now, children dear, T 
hope you will all be very, very good and very, very quiet 
while we have our entertainment. What kind of an enter- 
tainment is it to be, children? (a pause) W'y, children, 
don't you know what kind of an entertainment it is going 
to be? 

Virgil — Wal, I think it'll be a fust-rate good 'un if none 
of 'em don't fergit their pieces. 

Sam — W-w-w-w-w-wal, I w-w-w-w-w-won't f-f-f-f-fer- 
git mine if I d-d-d-d-don't git b-b-b-b-b-bashful. 

Sarah Jane — Huh, you bet you I won't git skeered — I 
haint fraid o' nothin'. I wouldn't be skeered to speak if 
they was a grizzly bear here. 

Tilly — Oh, teacher, she would, too, wouldn't she, 
teacher ? 

Sarah Jane — I wouldn't neither, so there! 

Teacher (tapping bell)— Children, be still. That is not 
a nice way to act on entertainment day. I meant what 
kind of an entertainment are we going to have accord- 
ing to the season (a pause). W'y, can't you tell, children? 

CoRABELL — Teacher, what's season? 

5 



CHRISTMAS SFEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 



Matildy — Huh, don't you know that? W'y, it's salt an 
pepper an' spice an' stuff they put in things to season 'em. 

Virgil — Aw, that haint what it means — it's spring an' 
fall an' winter — that's what season means, haint it, teacher? 

Teacher {tapping hell) — Children, be still. I mean what 
kind of pieces are we going to have in our entertainment? 

All (loudly) — Chris'mus pieces. 

Teacher — Yes, children, that is right — Christmas pieces, 
children. Why are we going to have Christmas pieces, 
children? (pause). 

Rastus — I reckon so's we-all'll git a Chris'mus present 
ef we does our pieces good. Mammy says as how she's 
gwine gimme a mighty nice present ef I does my part good. 

Sam — I t-t-t-t-think we're s-s-s-s-s-sayin' K-k-k-k-k-k-k- 
kris'mus pieces k-k-k-k-k-kawase K-k-k-k-k-k-kris'mus is the 
time to s-s-s-s-s-say K-k-k-k-k-k-k-kris'mus pieces. 

Teacher — Yes, children, we're going to have a nice 
Christmas entertainment because Christmas day is coming 
and we all love Christmas day, don't we, children? 

All — Yes, ma'am. 

Teacher — And so, children, I hope we shall have a nice 
entertainment, an' that you will be very, very good an' 
speak up nice an' loud an' do your parts the very, very best 
you can (children, nudge each other and point off stage as if 
looking out of window). 



1 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

Florildy (zuaving hand) — Teacher, somebody's comin' 
(knock is heard). 

Teacher — S-s-sh ! Be quiet, children (goes over and 
admits Mrs. Hill). 

Enter Mrs. Hill 

Mrs. Hill — Good afternoon, teacher. 'I heard as how 
you're goin' to have Chris'mus speakin' here this afternoon 
an' I says to Jeremiah, 1 says, I'm jes' goin' over to the 
skule house an' hear that speakin' 'cause as I says to 'im, 
says I, I do jes' love to hear the childrun speak their 
pieces. An' so here I be, teacher, an' I hope I haint late. 

Teacher — No, indeed, you're not late. Mis' Hill, an' 
we're very, very glad you came. Have this chair {she scats 
Mrs. Hill). 

Mrs. Hill — My, my, well I remember the time, teacher, 
that I've spoke a piece at Chris'mus time. They did say, 
as I says to Jeremiah, says I, they used to say that I was 
an awful good hand at speakin'. Mebbe I'll speak a piece 
here today (smiles at children). 

Teacher — That will be very, very nice. You'd like to 
have Mis' Hill speak, wouldn't you, children? 

All — Yes, ma'am (they nudge and point off stage again). 

Sarah Jane — Oh, teacher, Billy Skaggs's mother, she's 
comin'. (a knock is heard. Teacher goes over and admits 
Mrs. Skaggs). 

Enter Mrs. Skaggs 

7 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

Mrs. Skaggs — How-de-do, teacher. I hope you're feehn' 
real well. I've come over to the Chris'mus speakin', teacher. 
I've got an awful lot o' work to do to home, bein' as we're 
goin' to have comp'ny on Chris'mus, an' I'm tryin' to make 
some Chris'mus presents, an' bake an' clean up an' all, but 
Billy he was so set on my comin' that I jes' come an' here 
I be (she shakes hands with the teacher and Mrs. Hill). 

Teacher — We are very, very glad you came. I should 
have been very, very dissappointed if no one came to visit 
(she seats Mrs. Skaggs by Mrs. Hill). 

Mrs. Skaggs — I hope you haint had none the speakin' 
yet. I'd hate dreadful bad to miss any of it. As I was 
sayin' to Hen — that's my husban' — I says, Hen, there aint a 
single thing I like to hear better'n children speakin' pieces. 
I think it's dreadful nice, even when they make mistakes. 
As I says to Hen, we can't expect 'em to do too^good. 

Ole (pointing off stage) — Oh, teacher, yust look who's 
ban comin' ! 

Teacher (tapping bell) — Be quiet, children (knock is 
heard. She goes over and admits Josiah Judd) . 
Enter Josiah Judd 

Mr. Judd — How-de-do, teacher, how-de-do? I came over 
to be present at — that is, to attend, and injoy — that is, to 
participate in the Chris'mus entertainment (shakes hands 
azvkwardly zvith teacher amd the tzuo znsitors). As a mem- 
ber of the skule board I feel that I should incourage the 
childern of the deestrict with my presence here an' see how 

8 



II 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

they're gittin' on. Be they doin' purty good, teacher? (looks 
children over). 

Teacher — We're very, very glad you came, Mr. Judd. 
Yes, they're doin' real well (she seats him). Now, children 
dear, we will begin to commence our Christmas entertain- 
ment (Billy sobs softly). 

Sarah Jane (zvuving hand) — Teacher, teacher, Billy's 
bawlin'. 

Teacher — W'y, Billy, what is the matter? (goes to him). 

Billy (sobbing) — I — I — I — 

Mrs. Skaggs — Lan' sakes, teacher, what's the matter with 
'im? Billy, is your stummick botherin' you? 

Billy — I — I want to set longside o' maw. 

Mrs. Skaggs — Now, Billy, you set right where you be 
an' stop your fussin'. 

Billy (boo-hooing out loud) — I — want — ^to set — ^by — 
maw. 

Mrs. Skaggs — Wal, lan' sakes, teacher, I spose he'll cry 
himself sick ef he can't set by me. Can he come set here? 
He's an awful hand fer his maw, Billy is (the children 

Teacher (faking Billy by hand and leading him) — ^Yc-, 
he may sit up here (she fixes a chair beside his mother for 
Billy). Now, children dear, we will sing our nice welcome 
song (she beats time with long ruler, Mr. Judd beats time 
with his hand and keeps time with his head; the two visitors 





CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

heat time zmth foot. The children sing with a great deal of 
spirit). 

Tune: Just Before the Battle, Mother 

Welcome, welcome, Merry Christmas, 
Joyfully we welcome you ; 
Welcome, welcome. Merry Christmas, 
With a welcome glad and true; 
Welcome, welcome. Merry Christmas, 
Welcome to your Christmas toys ; 
Welcome, welcome. Merry Christmas, 
With your welcome Christmas joys. 
Welcome, welcome. Merry Christmas, 
With a welcome loud and clear 
Welcome, welcome, Merry Christmas, 
Welcome, best day of the year. 

Mrs. Hill— That was real fine. 

Mrs. Skaggs — They done jes' splendid, teacher. 

Mr. Judd — Very good, very good! 

Teacher — Now we will have an essay on Christmas by 
Virgil Vale. Virgil wrote this all by himself out of his own 
head an' it is very, very good {Virgil walks to the front 
with long strides, smoothes his hair, fixes his collar, straight- 
ens his coat, hlozvs his nose, then takes a paper from his 
pocket and reads; high tone and sing-song) . 

Virgil — Christmas is a very nice day. Tt comes on the 
25th day of December. Christmas is v/hen Santa Claus 

10 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

comes with presents. Christmas is when we hang up our 
stockings to get presents. Christmas is when we have 
Christmas trees with presents on. Christmas is when folks 
has company or goes visit^in'. On Christmas day folks say 
Merry Christmas to each other. Christmas day don't last 
long but it is a long time gettin' here. It is more blessed 
to give Christmas than to receive it. Christmas is a merry 
day {bows low and takes seat). 

Teacher — That was fine, Virgil. 

Mr. Judd (nodding head) — Very good, very good! 

Mrs. Hill — I couldn't a wrote a better one myself. 

Teacher — Now we will have a piece by Ole Swanson. 

O'LE (much scared) — Teacher, I aint ban feel very gude — 
I don't gass I ban speakin' my piece today. I — I skall got 
awfully yumpin' tooths aching, teacher. 

Teacher — Oh, now, Ole, you can speak. Your tooth 
doesn't ache. 

Ole — Teacher, please, I ban gotting such a headache 1 
aint skall ban feelings gude, teacher. I no skall ban able 
to speakings, teacher. 

Teacher — Then T shall tell your mother not to give you 
any Christmas present. 

Ole — Then by yimminy, I skall ban speakings, yust the 
same like I aint ban sick (marches rapidly to front and 
speaks) : 

11 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

One time there ban one little boy, 

Who sometimes yust ban bad an' rude ; 

He makes a face to his mamma (makes face) 

An' aint behaves not very gude. 

He don't ban studies very hard 
To learn his lessons gude to skule; 
An' sometimes whispers with the girls, 
Which skall ban 'gainst the teacher's rule. 

This little boy he ban so bad 
That when gude Mister Santy come, 
All he skall puts into his stocking 
Ban yust one piece of shewing gum. 

(Makes quick how and hurries to seat.) 

Rastus — Done served dat-dare boy jes' right, aint it, 
teacher ? 

Teacher — Yes, indeed. You spoke very well, Ole. Next 
we shall have a song by the twins, Matildy and Florildy. 

Matildy — Oh, I don't want to sing— I'm scart. 

Florildy — You come on, now. You know what maw 
told you — that she'd spank you if you didn't .sing nice after 
teacher had learned us so good. 

Mrs. Hill — Come on, Maltildy. I know that song's 
goin' to be jes' splendid (the tzvins go to the front and are 
about to sing when Matildy begins to giggle. Florildy looks 
ct her then she too giggles). 

12 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

Teacher — Girls, that is very, very wrong. Sing your 
song like nice girls. (Matildy straightens out, then as they 
are about to sing she has another spell of giggling in zvhich 
Florildy finally joins. They at last sing) : 

Matildy and Florildy. 

Tune: Blue Bells of Scotland 



Oh we are the twins, (Matildy alone) and Matildy is my 
name, 

(Florildy alone) And mine is Florildy, which is almost the 
same ; 

(Both) Matildy and Florildy, the merry twins are we, 
And it's just before Christmas 
We're good as good can be. 

(Florildy looks very solemn and good, Matildy giggles.) 

2. 
(Matildy alone) When Santa Claus cometh T want a pretty 
ring, 

(Florildy alone) And since we are twins T am wanting the 
same thing; 

(Matildy alone) I want a Christmas doll with fair hair and 
eyes of blue, 

(Both) And because we are twins, 'course Florildy want? 
one too. 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

3. 

Oh, we are the twins (Florildy pointing to Matildy) And 
Matildy is her name; 

{Maltildy, pointing to Florildy) And hers is Florildy which 
is almost the same. 

{Both) Matildy and Florildy, the merr}^ twins are we, 

And it's just before Christmas 

We're good as good can be {pass to seats). 

Mrs. Skaggs — Now, I think they done that real fine. 

Mr. Judd — Very good, very good ! 

Teacher — The next will be a piece by Rastus. 

Rastus — Say, teacher, I don't wan' ter speak no piece, 
I shooly don' wan' ter, teacher. 

Teacher — Oh, yes, you do, Rastus. 

Rastus — No, hones', re'lly, I shooly cross mah heart an' 
hope ter die, I don' wan' ter speak mah piece, teacher. 

Teacher — Why not? 

Rastus — I's 'fraid Til disrecomember it, teacher an' 
mammy said as how if I disrecomembered mah piece Fd 
git skun alive when I gits home. I don' wan' ter get skun, 
shuah's youse born I don' wan' ter, teacher. 

Teacher — Now, Rastus, you won't forget. I know you 
won't, so come speak like a nice boy. 

Rastus {rubbing eyes) — ^I — I — don' wan' ter — be — 

SKUN! 

14 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

Mrs. Hill — Poor little fellow {wipes her eyes). 

Sarah Jane — Teacher, if she- skuns 'im will he die? 

Rastus {loudly) — Boo-hoo, I don' wan' ter DIE! 

Mr. Judd — Now, Rastus, you speak your piece and I'll 
see that your mother doesn't touch you and I'll give you 
some candy. 

Rastus — All right {comes forward grinning widely, bows 
and speaks: 

Some boys dey wants a drum er gun, 
An' some dey t'inks a sled is fun ; 
But fer mah Chris'mus I's a tellin' 
I wants a great, big watermelon. 

{Measures large size with arms.) 

A tickin' watch would suit some boys, 
An' some dey's fond ob books an' toys ; 
But, OH, 'twould set mah heart a swellin' 
On Chris'mus ter git a watermelon. 

{Measures large size as before.) 

Candy an' nuts dey jes' suits some, 

But as fer me — oh, yum — yum — YUM ! (smacks lips) 

Fer joy I'd shooly feel like yellin' 

Ef Santy'd brang me a watermelon. 

{Measures as before, bows lozu and takes seat.) 



TiLLiE — Teacher, he won't git skun, will he 

15 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

Mr. Judd — No, indeed he won't. That was very good, 
very good, {he gives Rastus bright stick of candy). 

R.ASTUS (eating candy) — Teacher, I jes' as liefs to speak 
mah piece ovah agin. 

Teacher — No, once is enough. 

Billy — Boo-hoo, boo-hoo, boo-hoo! 

Mrs. Skaggs — ^Lan' sakes, Billy, what's the matter now? 

Billy — Boo-hoo, boo-hoo, boo-hoo ! 

Mrs. Skaggs — Now, Billy, tell maw what's the matter 
Be your stummick a hurtin' you agin, Billy? 

Billy — I want some candy like he's got (points to 
Rastus). 

Mrs. Skaggs — Wal, jes' as soon's we git home you can 
have some. 

Billy (kicking floor luith both feet) — Don't wan' ter 
wait. Boo-hoo- boo-hoo ! 

Sam — I s-s-s-s-s-s-say, he b-b-b-b-b-b-better have a 
g-g-g-g'-g'oo<^ 1-1-1-1-l-l-lickin'. (Mr. Judd slips over quietly 
and puts a stick of candy into Billy's hand). 

Billy — I won't — (sees candy and stares at it, laughs and 
puts it in his mouth). Oh, Maw, I got some, too (laughs). 

Teacher — Now we will have — 
Corabell (softly) — Boo-hoo, boo-hoo, boo-hoo! 

16 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

Tilly — Oh, teacher, my little sister's cryin' ! (puts arm 
around Corabcll). What's the matter, little sister? Are 
you sick ? 

CoRABELL — No! (louder) . Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo ! 

Teacher {goes over) — Do you want to go home? 

CoRABELL — NO! (louder) Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 

Tilly — Please, dearie, tell sister what's the matter. 

CoRABELL — I want — some — too — boo-hoo-hoo ! 

Mr. Judd — Pshaw, now ! I guess I got myself in trouble 
(he slips over and puts candy in Corahell's hand). 

Tilly — Oh, see, little sister, what the nice man gave you 
(Corabcll laughs and puts candy in mouth). 

Teacher — We will now have a piece by Sarah Jane (she 
sits fussing in her seat). Come, Sarah Jane, speak your 
piece. 

Sam — Huh, she's f-f-f-f-f-f-fraid to s-s-s-s-s-say it. 

Sarah Jane — 'I haint neither — I haint scart o' nuthin'. 
Fm — Pm a fixin' up my stockin' (fusses, then goes to front 
and stands there, twisting her dress and looking domn at 
floor). 

Teacher — Speak up, nice, Sarah Jane. 

Virgil — Say, I bet she's so skeert she can't say nothin'. 

Sarah Jane — I haint neither. 

Virgil — Oh, you be, too. 

17 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

Sarah Jane — I haint scart o' nothin'. 

Teacher — Why don't you speak, Sarah Jane? 

Sarah Jane — I'm thinkin'. 

Teacher — What are you thinking about? 

Sarah Jane — How my piece starts (twists dress, looks 
dozun at floor, moves lips. Tlien speaks, loud and fast). 

The air was cold as cold could be, 
The wind was blowing dis-ma-lee, 
The night was dark as a black cat 
And Santy Claus' heart went pit-y-pat. 

(Stops, moves lips, etc., as before. Then speaks the four 
lines over again and adds) : 

'Cause 'twas so dark he feared he'd make, 
Scootin' down chimbleys a bad mistake, 
An' leave a doll with curly hair 
For the big boy a livin' there. 

(Bozvs low and takes seat.) 

Mrs. Hill — That was real fine, Sarah Jane. 

Mr. Judd — Very good, very good! 

Teacher — Next Sam Shaw will speak. 

Sam — T-t-t-t-t-teacher, I g-g-g-g-g-g-got a s-s-s-s-s-short 
piece, k-k-k-k-k-kawse it takes me so 1-1-1-1-l-long to s-s-s-s 
s-say it, k-k-k-k-k-kawse I st-st-st-st-st-stutter. 

Teacher — Very well (Sam ptdls coat and contorts body 
trying to speak) : 

18 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

A 1-1-1-1-l-little b-b-b-b-b-bird sat on a t-t-t-t-tree, 
S_s_s-s-s-singin' loud an' k-k-k-k-klear, 
Oh, 1-1-1-1-l-let us all b-b-b-b-b-be h-h-h-h-h-happy, 
K-k-k-k-k-kawse K-k-k-k-k-k-kris'mus time is here. 

(Bozus and takes seat.) 

Mrs. Skaggs — I think he done that real fine. 

Mr. Judd — Very good, very good ! 

Teacher— Now, Billy will speak his piece (Billy shakes 
head). 

Mrs. Skaggs— Now Billy, you go speak like a good boy. 

Billy— I— don't wan'— to {hangs to his mother's skirt). 

Mrs. Skaggs— Now, don't you be naughty. You go 
speak your piece so Santy Claus will bring you a nice present. 

Billy— No, no, NO ! 

Mrs. Skaggs— Come now, maw will take you over {she 
takes him by the hand, pulls him to the front to speak, fixes 
his tie, smoothes his hair and goes back to her seat). Now 
speak, Billy. 

Billy— No, no, NO! (he rims back and sits by his 
mother). 

Mrs; Skaggs— Now, Billy, don't act so— what would 
paw say? {she pulls him back to front, fixes him again and 
turns to go to her seat. Billy grabs her skirt and follozvs her, 
crying). Wal, teacher, I don't guess he'll speak, he's so 
bashful. He gits it from his paw an' I spose he can't help it. 
Teacher— Then Tilly will speak her piece. 



19 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

Tilly {in high, piping voice, very dramatic gestures). 
Upon the mountains high, (up to right with right hand) 
Or in the valleys low, (down at left with left hand) 
Or in the arching heavens, [up with both hands) 
Where stars in silence glow [same as above). 
In the North and South land (point to the front, then back) 
East and West the breezes say, (to right, then left) 
"Let ev'ry one be merry (to the front zvith both hands) 
On Christmas Day" (same as above). 

(Very sweeping bow, then takes seat.) 

Mrs. Hill — My, my, her motions was jes' grand ! 

Mr. Judd (nodding) — Very good, very good! 

Tilly — Teacher, my litle sister has a piece to say. 

Teacher — Then she may speak now. 

Tilly — Come on, Corabell, don't be 'fraid. I'll take you 
up to speak {she leads Corabell to the front and fixes her 
hair, ribbons, dress, etc). Now speak your piece, little 
sister (Corabell should be fat and larger than Tilly). 

Corabell (lisping) — 

I am a very little girl, 
An' has'nt much to thay, 
But I'll throw you a sweet kiss, 
An' then I'll run away. 

(Throzvs a kiss then stands grinning.) 
Tilly — Come on, Corabell, run to your seat. 
Corabell — I don't want to (stands grinning), 
Tilly— Why not? 

20 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

CoRABELL. — ^I want you to come fetch me to my seat. 
Tilly — All right (she goes and fakes Corahell to seat). 
Mrs. Hill — My, my, aint she the cute little thing? 
Mrs. Skaggs — Aint she though? Billy, can't you speak 
like that little girl? 

Billy — No, no (clings to his mother), 
Virgil — Teacher, can't Mis'Hill speak her piece now? 
The Others — Oh, yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am! 
Mrs. Hill — My, my, me I It's so long sence I've spoke 
I guess I've forgot how. Wal, I'll try, but don't you laugh at 
me (goes to front, makes sweeping gesture zmth both hands 
and hows lozv) . 

Some folks there be, but they aint like me, 

That whines an' almost has a lit, 
An' pouts if Santy don't bring jes' what 
They was wishin' fer to git. 

(Pouts and stands looking very ugly.) 

But some folks there be, an' they're like me, 

That smiles an' says "Ho, ho, ho", 
No matter what Santy brings 'em, 
They're jolly an' laugh jes' like so. 
(Hands on hips and laughs, ha-ha-ha, ho-ho-ho, then makes 
another lozu boiv and takes seat.) 

Teacher — That was splendid, wasn't it children ? ( Virgil 
goes off). 

Chilren (heartily) — Yes, ma'am. 
Mr. Judd — Very good, very good! 

21 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

Teacher — Now, children, we are very, very glad to 
have our esteemed an' highly respected clerk of the Skule 
board here with us today. It was very, very nice for him 
to take so much interest in you an' come to hear your pieces. 
Now we shall be very, very glad to have him make us a 
speech, won't we, children? 

Children — Yes, ma'am. 

Mr. Judd {going to front and rubbing hands together as 
he talks) — Wal, teacher and children and visiters, I can say 
with great truth an' much joy that I be glad to been here 
today. Yes, childern, I alius like fer to hear the childern 
speak pieces an' I can said that I been proud of the way 
you speaked an' sung. Yes, childern, I can say with 
truth an' not a tellin' nuthin' that haint so, that you all 
done good, very good, in your speakin'. Your nice teacher 
has been a learnin' you fine an' as I said, you done good." 
Yes, childern. An' you mus' all been proper behaved in 
skule, childern, fer nobody can't larn good when they been 
a cuttin' up, an' misbehavin' an' not a mindin' the nice teach- 
er's rule. Yes, childern. So I want fer to tell you as how 
you mus' study hard an' behave good. Now^, childern, do you 
know what I be? (pause). 

Florildy — I guess mebbe you're teacher's beau (children 

Teacher (smiling) — W'y, w'y, w'y, Florildy, dear, how 
can you SAY such a thing? 

Mr. Judd (wiping face vigorously zuith bandanna) — Yes, 
yes, that is, I mean to said, I, yes, wal, (tzmsts bandanna 
nervously) I wanted fer to have you said I were CLERK 

22 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

of the SKULE BOARD, childern, yes, CLERK of 
SKAGGS'S SKULE, childern, an' I was goin' fer to say as 
how if you study hard an' been good mebbe some day — 
yes, who knows, childern, mebbe some o' you'll git to been 
clerk. Wouldn't that be grand, childern? Yes. So you 
mus' study hard an' been good behaved. Now I can truth- 
ful say I been glad to been here today with you an' your 
nice teacher, an' I hope you can all said the same. An' 1 
wish you all a merry Chris'mus, childern, very merry. Yes 
(sits, mops face zmth bandanna) . 

Teacher (beaming) — Now, wasn't that a splendid 
speech? An' we thank Mr. Judd very, very much, don't 
we, children? 

Children — Yes, ma'am. 

Teacher — An' now, children, we will sing our Santy 
Claus song, an' who knows, children, mebbe Santy Claus 
will come right here an' serprise us all (beats time zvith 
ruler). 

Tune: Wonderful Words of Life 

All Sing — There's a man who lives far away, 
His name is Santy Claus, 
He comes with his reindeer an' sleigh, 

His name is Santy Claus; ^ 
With his bells a ringin', 
He comes presents bringin', 

Listen, you'll hear (bells ring off stage) 
Here comes old Santy Claus! 
Enter Virgil f dressed as Santy Claus) 
23 



CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN' AT SKAGGS'S SKULE. 

Virgil {gruff voice) — Wal, wal, childern, didn't expec* 
ter see me here today, did ye? Wal, here I be an' I hope 
yer al glad to see Santy. Now fust thing, I want ter know 
HAVE YE BEEN GOOD CHILDERN? Have ye? 
(pause) Have ye been good? 

Tilly (faintly) — Yes, ma'am. 

Billy — Oh, boo-hoo-hoo, boo-hoo-hoo, boo-hoo-hoo! 

Mrs. Skaggs — W'y, Billy, what's the matter? 

Billy — Boo-hoo-hoo, boo-hoo-hoo! Em 'fraid of Santy 
Claus. 

Mrs. Skaggs — Now, Billy, Santy won't hurt you none. 

Billy (bawling) — ^^I want to gO' home. I want to go 
home (cries louder and falls dozvn on floor). 

Mrs. Skaggs — Oh, I'm 'fraid he'll have a fit he's so 
skeered. (to teacher) Tell 'im to take ofif his face so's Billy 
can see 'im (teacher runs and talks to Virgil who pulls off 
his false face) . 

Teacher — See, Billy, it's only Virgil. 

Virgil (crossly) — Nice way to spoil our fun (Billy stops 
crying, looks at Virgil and begins to laugh). 

Teacher — Now, children, we will have a treat and Mr. 
Judd will help Santy pass it to you ( Virgil and Mr. J. give 
each one a sack of pop corn and candy as curtain falls). 

curtain 

24 



PLAYS, MONOLOGS, Etc. 

AS OrR WASHWOMAN SEES IT. (Edna I, MacKenile.) Tlm«, 10 
minutes. Nora is seen at the washboard at the home of Mrs. McNeal, 
where, amidst her work, she engages in a line of gossip concerning 
her patrons, that will make a hit with any audience. 25 cents. 

ASK OUl.IA. (Edna I. MacKenzie.) Time, 8 minutes. A present- 
day girl illustrates to her friends the wonders of the Ouija board. Her 
comments on the mysteries of this present-day fad as she consults 
Ouija will delight any audience. 26 cents. 

COONTOWN TROUBLES. (Bugbee-Berg.) A lively black-face 
song given by Josephua Johnslng, Uncle Rastus and other Coon- 
town folks. 35 cents. 

THE GREAT CHICKEN STEALING CASE OF EBENEZER 
COl'NTY. (Walter Richardson.) A negro mock trial for 9 males. 2 
females and jurors. Time, 35 minutes. Any ordinary room easily ar- 
ranged. From start to finish this trial is ludicrous to the extreme 
and will bring roars of laughter from the audience. 2S cents. 

THE GREAT WHISKEY-STEALING CASE OF RUMBOLD TS. 
RYEBOLD. (Walter Richardson.) A mock trial for 11 males and 
jury. The fun increases as the trial proceeds, and reaches a climax 
when the jury decides who stole the whiskey. 25 cents. 

HERE'S TO THE LAND OF THE STARS AND THE STRIPES. 
(Bugbee- Worrell.) Open your minstrel with this rousing patriotic 
song. Sheet music. 36 cents. 

THE KINK IN KIZZIE'S WEDDING. (Mary Bonham.) Time. 20 
minutes. For 7 males and 5 females. A colored wedding that will 
convulse any audience with laughter. Said to be the fuuniest mock 
wedding ever produced. 25 cents. 

SHE SAYS SHE STUDIES. A monologue. (Edna 1. MacKen«le.) 
A 'sentimental high-school girl seated with her books preparing the 
next day's lessons, in a highly original and entertaining manner, ex- 
presses her views on the merits of her various studies and her un- 
biased opinion of her teachers, as she proceeds from book to book in 
the order of her recitation; but when she has finished, you will agree 
that she is very much more of an entertainer than a student. 
26 cents. 

SUSAN GETS READY FOR CHURCH. (Edna I. MacKenzie.) 
Time. 10 minutes. It is time for church and Susan, at her toilet, is 
excitedly calling for missing articles and her rapid line of gossip about 
her friends and of certain church activities will bring many a laugh. 
26 cents. 

THAT AWFUT^ LETTER. A comedy of unusual merit, In one act. 
(Edna I. MacKenzie.) For five ^:irls. Time, 30 minutes. Recom- 
mended for high schools, societies and churches. Elizabeth Norton, an 
accomplished college girl from the country, has been reluctantly and 
rudely invited to visit a city cousin. Margaret Neilson, whom she has 
never seen. Finding she is expected to be gawky and uneducated, 
Elizabeth acts the part perfectly. Developments follow thick and 
fast amid flashes of wit, humor and satire from Elizabeth., who at 
last reveals her real self. Margaret's humiliation is complete and 
there is a happy ending. All the charat2ter« are good. The country 
cousin is a star. 26 cents. 

THE UNEXPECTED GUEST. A one-act comedy. (Edna I. Mac- 
Kenzie.) Six females. Time. 45 minutes. The unexpected arrival of 
an eccentric aunt throws, a family into a state of excitement and 
dismay, but before the play is over the unwelcome aunt has en- 
deared herself to her riatives In quite an unexpected manner. Funny 
situations throughout. 26 cents. 

Paine Publishing Company Dasrton, Ohio 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




CHRISTMAS ENTE 

CHBISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLl ft «ic inio ==:;■■;: 

One of the most popular Christmas p ^ VIO IWo 557 9 ^^ 

clean, wholesome fun from beginning to ena. at ut:i/i^i.a v-« 

of the teacher of an old-faahioned "deestric school" in conducting the 
last rehearsal for the Christmas EJntertalnment. Children and grown- 
ups will be delighted with CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER. 25c. 

CHRISTMAS AT MCCARTHY'S. (Elizabeth P. GupUU.) A Christ- 
mas play for young folks and children that is brimful of fun from 
start to close and is interspersed with the gentlest pathos. All the 
characters are good. Easy to produce. No special scenery or cos- 
tumes. No Santa Claus. Can be played in any schoolroom. 26c. 

CHRISTMAS SPEAKEN' AT SKAGOS'S 8KULE. (Marie Irish.) 
Just published. Humorous entertainment for six boys and eight girls, 
including Ole, the Swede; Rastus, the negro; bashful Bill; Jeremiah 
Judklns, the skule clerk; Mis' Skaggs and Mis' Hill, the mothers who 
"help out;" fat little sister; Matildy and Florildy, the twins; Sam 
who st-t-tut-ters; Tiny, and Miss Emmeline Elkins, the teacher. The 
speech by the skule clerk and the fake Santy Claus are features. 25c. 

CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES. (Cecil J. Richmond.) Every dialogue 
In this book is decidedly to the point and easy to prepare. They will 
delight both young and old. The book contains the following: Is 
There a Santa Clause? (2 small children, Santa Claus and choru8> ; 
Herbert's Discovery (2 boys); The Christmas Dinner (2 little girlu. 
1 larger girl, and 2 boys); Playing Santa Claus (1 small and 2 larger 
boys); A Double Christmas Gift (2 small girls, 2 larger girls, and 3 
boys). Many customers have told us that the last named dialogue is 
worth the price of the book. 25 cents. 

EVERGREEN AND HOLtT— SONG AND DRILL. (Elizabeth F. 
Guptill. A drill for any even number of boys and girls, or all girls. The 
girls carry garlands of evergreen while the boys carry wreaths of the 
same. After a spectacular drill and fancy march they all sing a beau- 
tiful Christmaji song, which accompanies the drilL Easy to produce and 
decidedly novel. 25 cents. 

GOOD-BYE, CHRISTMAS GROUCHES. (Irish -Lyman. ) A jolly 
Christmas song for any number of boys and girls. It abounds with 
Christmas cheer and many pleasant surprises. Full of action. Sheet 
music. This popular song will put "pep" in your Christmas enter- 
tainment and will furnish your audience a rare treat. 35 cents. 

POINSETTIA DRILL. (Marie Irish.) A drill for 12 or more 
girls carrying poinsettias. Given to the music of a lively march, 
interspersed with verses to the tune of the song. "Comin' Through 
the Rye." Several diagrams make clear the following of the direc- 
tions. One of the most beautiful Christmas drills published, 26 cents. 

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING. (Irlsh-Garster.) Song for Uttle 
folks. Easy words and simple action. A pleasing little song that the 
children will enjoy giving and others will enjoy hearing, because of 
its merry humor. Sheet music. 35 cents. 

STARS OF BETHLEHEM. (Irlsh-Leyman.) A beautiful song of 
the Christ Child for either teolo or chorus. The music is sweet and 
perfectly suited to the beautiful worda A delightful number for 
children or adults. Sheet music, 35 cents. 

SNOWBOUND FOB CHRISTMAS. (Edna 1. MacKenxie.) For 4 
boys and 4 girls. Time, 25 minutes. The roads being blocked by a recent 
snowstorm, the Simpson family has not been able to get to town to 
do their Christmas shopping. After considerable lamenting by the 
children over their disappointment, Ma Simpson, Pa Simpson, and 
the older children determine upon home-made presents, which results 
in a most pleasant surprise. 25 cents. 

TOPSY TURVY CHBISTMAS, A. (Elizabeth F. Guptill.) A de- 
cidedly humorous Christmas play for any number of children from six 
to twelve years old. The children are tired of "minding" and of 
everything being "just so," so they start to find a place where things 
will be different. There is a pleasing surprise for the audience at every 
turn of the play. 26 cents. 



Paine Publishing Company 



Dajrtonf Ohio 



■BiBli 

016 103 557 9 



" 



